Guide:Resisting technological domestic abuse

Purpose of this guide is to help victims of technological domestic abuse resist surveillance and recover from privacy or security compromise by the perpetrators of abuse, whether romantic, familial or otherwise.
Technologically savvy perpetrators have more options than ever before to keep tabs on their victims, take away control or agency and continue abuse from afar. We will try to give you the tools and knowledge to resist technological aspects of the abuse, and once you're able to leave the abusive situation, recover from the privacy compromise.

Core assumptions

In this guide we are assuming following:

• The perpetrator is somebody who has physical access to you and to the devices (and potentially accounts) you use.
  • The perpetrator also controls your internet access, either by controlling the router or controlling the ISP account.
• The perpetrator is generally more technologically savvy than you.
• The perpetrator is willing to deploy technological measures that are generally unacceptable, such as tracking your location, monitoring your search history, compromising your social media accounts and so on.

But first

If you share the device you're reading this on with the perpetrator, DO NOT allow them to use your browser history to find out about your attempts to resist.
First, do the following:

• Open this page in Private Mode/Incognito Mode.
• Go into browser's options, and delete the browsing history for approximately last hour.

This will prevent them from finding this guide in your history and being aware of the advice you're following.

Methods and countermeasures

In this section we will survey and discuss most common methods of technology-enabled domestic and familial abuse.

Stalkerware

Coalition Against Stalkerware's brief overview of stalkerware.
Remember to open in Private/Incognito mode to avoid leaving a trace!

Potentially most concerning method the perpetrator could use is installing w:stalkerware, also known as creepware, on your devices. Stalkerware are apps and programs that are designed to keep track of another's person's activity and report it back to the perpetrator. Many of those apps masquerade as 'parental control' or 'employee monitoring' solutions, but most make little to no effort to limit the potential for abuse.
These are very difficult to counter as they are designed to be stealthy and avoid detection, much like any other malware. There are many stalkerware products, and new shady operations sprout all the time, that it is impossible to give useful method specific advice.

Thus, the best advice we can offer you is to trust your instincts. Does the perpetrator seem to know details and pieces of information that you've never shared with them? Do they inexplicably know where you've been or who you've texted? Do they know the websites you've visited?
If you answered any of those as yes, you may be a victim of stalkerware.

Countermesures

• If you can, do not give physical access to your device. Do not leave your device unattended.
  • Use a strong screen lock method, and do not use fingerprint scan or face unlock (as those methods are rather easily fooled). There is no substitute for a good password.
• Most stalkerware programs run in the background all the time, using your battery (on the devices that use battery). Be mindful of your battery performance, particularly if it suddenly drops.
• Stalkerware programs must send the captured data to the perpetrator. Therefore, look at your data (and WiFi) usage and look for unusual patterns, like apps you don't know suddenly sending a large amount of data.
• Look for apps that you don't know and have permissions that you do not remember granting.
• Remove the apps you do not use. This will narrow down the list of apps that the stalkerware hides under.

Canary trap

One method of narrowing down how and were you're being spied upon is the use of so-called 'canary trap'.

The basic idea is that you give different version of an event, document or a plan (bait) via different methods of communication and see which one the perpetrator brings up. For example, if the perpetrator is attempting to control your social life, you might text one friend about plans to meet up for drinks, and email a completely different one to meet up for coffee at the same time. If the perpetrator now brings up you going for drinks, you know they're monitoring your texts, and probably not monitoring your email.

Android

On Android, most stalkerware apps will not be found in the Play Store, as the are likely to be removed by Google upon identification. This means that most of the time, the perpetrator has to install an external app from so-called 'Unknown sources'. Normally, when you try to install an external app, Android phone will prevent you from doing so, unless you enable it in the settings before installing the app. Look for a setting called 'Unknown sources', and see if it is enabled for you. All Android phones come with it being turned off by default, so if it is on for you, and you did not enable it yourself, the perpetrator may have enabled it to facilitate installation of stalkerware.

iOS

Apple, like Google, also actively removes stalkeware apps from its store. To install external apps on iOS devices, generally the device has to be jailbroken (basically, unlocked to enable non-Appstore apps. Most jaibroken devices have an alternative app store on it, called Cyndia. If your device has Cyndia on it, but you did not jailbreak the phone and install Cyndia yourself, you might be a victim of stalkerware.

Should you remove stalkerware?

We cannot say, given that this depends on your personal circumstances. The perpetrator is very likely to notice this, and if attempting to resist may result in further abuse, it may not be advisable.

Remember that in most jurisdictions wiretapping is a serious crime, it may be worth it to keep the stalkerware on the device as evidence.

Even if you cannot remove the stalkerware, just knowing it is there empowers you to make better decisions about your situation.